Currently Listening Hybrid Theory By Linkin Park In The End see related

Summer, summer, summer... the time for sluts to screw guys in the ocean and give out free blow-jobs at the movies before getting caught and fake-crying to their money-lovin' parents.... Yeah, I'm bitchy. Summer for me means, issolation, more time for me to get bitchy and cold like usual to go back to school and be hated by people I don't and do know.  Fun. Don't ask why, but I feel like everytime I talk people hate me. I'm in that state, yet again. where I feel like no one really likes me, they just do it. They don't admire me, they just do it. I'm not pretty, not funny, obviously, I suck at games, I suck at singing, family looks at me like I'm just some.... thing. People ignore me... Toby. Yeah, you. --; Haven't talked since fucking October, dammit! But whatever. I don't care. And I'm honestly still pissed at Craig. I know full-damn-well he could possibly see this, but seeming as he's been ignoring xanga, and me, I don't think he'll really give a flyin' rat's ass. Yes, like I said I still hate him... I liked Poetry, and so did he, so now I hate it. I was interested in furs, so was he, I hate it as well. I used to actually cry at peoples problems when they came to me, like I did for him... but what's the point? When I cry, they don't give a fuck and just go on with their lives; no much as a fucking "Thank you." Thanks guys. Really. next time, I'll just tell the bastards to suck it up and be gay, ditching me. That'll really work. Wonderful. And what the hell is the problem with you damn gay guys anyway? No offense, but so far none of you have left a good fucking impression. Craig, ha, we know you cuz I wont shut up. Toby, I be nice and sweet and try to fucking consol you but you just act like a selfish dick, and then there's that other prick who's name I can't even remember cuz I'm so pissed at him.  Fuck. You. All. There. I said it. Thanks for fucking up my better judgement and pissing me off so much to where I'm a stupid little bitch that can't trust love. Go take a fucking pole up the ass... I'm sick of this. I'm sick of all of you, I'm sick of me, I'm sick of everything. I don't care anymore. Don't ask me to, you'll just get bitched at. Hell, I CAN'T cry for you anymore. It used to be so easy... Whatever. God, I'm tired.... (Curls up.) I wish I was a still-birth... I wouldn't have to deal with this crap... what's the point of living if there's people like you...? Honestly...

Don't worry, I do realize I have some really kind friends who don't like to hurt me... and actually do love me. It's just... hard to notice amungst the bad.... I'm sorry...

And don't fuss. This isn't a suicide note. I'm... too much of a coward to do it.... no matter how much I want to...